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How Two Idiots Escaped From Jail

Yahoo/M. Spencer Green

I guess if I had to escape from jail I would do exactly what these two nimrods did. It’s actually shocking and ambitious the way two bank robbers escaped from their cells and all I can think about is how this is like the real life Shawshank Redemption.

The two men in their early 40’s escape from downtown Chicago’s high-rise jail Tuesday by apparently scaling down about 20 stories using a makeshift rope tied to the bars in a cell window. (Side note: I hate heights and the thought about actually scaling down 20 stories changed my mind to just never attempting to escape jail. I’d just stay there safe on the ground.)

Police helicopters and officers hit the ground in search of these guys, but not until, at least, three hours after Jose Banks (Let me clarify, no relation to me haha) and Kenneth Conley where missing when guards checked on cells during their 5 a.m. headcount.

“Investigators found a broken window in the men’s cell, where window bars were found inside a mattress, according to an FBI affidavit filed late Tuesday. Fake metal bars also were found in the men’s cell, a rope was tied to a window bar, and each man’s bed was stuffed with clothing and sheets to resemble a body”, according to the Yahoo news room.

Looks like these two really thought about this plan before hand. But, seemed like planning paid off. They must have known that their escape rope was going to bring them out of the sight of public view when the bottom was in an alley way. “Both men are facing hefty prison sentences, and the FBI said they should be considered armed and dangerous.”

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