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10 Things You Never Knew About the Presidential Nominees — The Funnies

Barack Obama, Mitt Romney
Alex Wong / Sara D. Davis, Getty Images

The presidential election is kicking into high gear, so get ready to hear those annoying ads—you know, the ones that claim Obama never created jobs and Romney outsources everything. It’s time to duck while politicians sling mud at each other.

There are some things that you probably don’t know about the presidential nominees, though, that could change your vote. And we just happen to know some of these secrets. Here are 10 surprising facts about the presidential nominees:

1. President Obama has been wearing the same pair of lucky boxers since his inauguration.

2. Mitt Romney calls his baseball glove “Romney’s Mitt.”

3. Paul Ryan is considering changing his name to Firstname Lastname or Lastname Firstname.

4. President Obama is covering up the existence of leprechauns, unicorns and centaurs.

5. Mitt Romney wants the government to start producing electric cars with canine shelving units on the roof.  (We’re just kidding. Mitt Romney has no interest in electric cars.)

6. Joe Biden is really Chuck Norris in disguise.

7. Paul Ryan keeps receiving drunk dials from Sarah Palin giving him “top-notch campaign advice.”

8. President Obama sleeps in a pressurized chamber that keeps his “hope” intact.

9. Mitt Romney can play the ukulele with his feet. Unfortunately, he only sings Mormon hymns.

10. President Obama and Vice President Biden have had massive fights about whether Delaware actually is a state.

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